5:23 p.m. - 01.16.2003
Two inches of beautiful white death, sha-la-la-laaa
I just wanted to chime in again today to say that it is snowing outside harder than Ally Sheedy's hair in the Breakfast Club. I've lived here for eight years and have seen it snow this hard only three other times tops. Maybe. Keep in mind, I'm in South Carolina. People just aren't prepared for this.
I'm staying at an apartment outside of town, but I can only imagine the chaos going on downtown. "Cats and dogs, living together - mass hysteria!" - Ghostbusters.
If this projected two inches of snow should lead to my being trapped inside here and my subsequent death - tell people my story.
Tell them I was good, kind, and just. I always threw quarters in mall fountains, never pennies. And I sponge-bathed the elderly on weekends. And read to blind children over holidays. And I always bought from the soliciting neighborhood children - crappy chocolate filled with puffed rice, cookies named "hoedowns" and "thin mints", decorative tins of popcorn and spice racks galore - so that their team, band and/or choir could get to wherever the hell they were going. ...remember me this way.
***
On another note:
I want a girlfriend. It's been about a year since my last foray into relationship-ville ended. Keep in mind: this is not an itch I'm going to go out of my way to scratch. If it should happen for me - wonderful. The problem is, this desire doesn't quite jive with another one I'm currently having....
***
...I'm growing a beard. I recently had longer hair, but I got it cut short. Too short. To compensate I'm growing more hair on my face.
However, it's my experience that facial hair and girlfriends don't mix. Which I can understand. So which one do I want more?
A nice brawny, lumber-jack beard? Or a purdy smelling, smooth-skinned warm body in the bed at night. (man how girls smell good.)
It really is a toss up. I DO pull of a beard well, but on the other hand - people need people. Especially amishpeople. Amishboys need cute amishgirls.
But ladies, I have to admit, I'm 27 yrs old, and STILL fascinated by facial hair growth. It's so fun! Hair...actually grows on our face! Now, I'm not down with a ratty old biker beard or unkept hippy/Phish beard. I'm talking a nice, tight Michael Gross beard. I just want to lay my amishgirl down and whisper sweet nothings like:
Amishboy: "I bet we've been together for a million years"
Amishgirl: "And I bet we'll be together for a million more."
Amishboy: "Oh it's like I started breathing, on the night we kissed..."
Together: "And I can't remember what I ever did before..."
"What'll we do, baby, without us? What'll we DO baby, without us?"
Amishboy: "Well there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.."
Amishgirl: "Oohhhoo..."
Together: "What'll we do, baby, without uussss?"
Together: " Sha-la-la-laaa..."
*sniff* that's all I want. Is that so much to ask for?
�
�