8:52 p.m. - 01.20.2003
Running on empty
My first New Year's resolution (a daily glass of red ) has quickly gone by the wayside (too expensive for the unemployed).
So a few days ago I implemented my secret back-up plan *drum roll*...New Year's Resolution #2! Exercise!
This new plan involves a once (if not twice) daily run. And then once I get home, light calisthenics (that's spelled right!) and the lifting of weights. So far it's been going....so-so.
The thing is, I think I'm either allergic to running, or I have under-developed lungs. Now, I'm not adverse to exercise mind you. If I may toot my own horn for a sec, Amishboy was the only 9th grader to play THREE (the max) varsity sports his freshman year! I biked for miles all summer, but now that winter has hit, and I've taken to running, I just can't do it. Which leads me to believe it's a combination of running allergies and under-developed organs.
My reasoning for part two is that amsihboy was....a preemie *sound of collective awwing*. Five weeks to be exact.
I have a theory actually, that each week of prematurity results in one year behind my peers. So I'm roughly five years behind. That's why I'm 27 and essentially just NOW starting my life (that's my self-placating reason). My mom says that when I was born I was like a cute little 5lb roast. She could fit me perfectly in the space of forearm between the wrist and the elbow bend. Growing up I was such a runt, they considered pumping me with 'roids! (I can't back that up.) Anyway, long story short (too late!) Amishboy now clocks in at an impressive 6'2'' and some poundage. This preemie had heart!
Enough of my 'struggles of life' story. (I came to talk about ze runneeeng man! Ze runnneeeng!)
Like I was saying, the running has been going poorly. When I run, I turn into that dog Hooch, from the Tom Hanks blockbuster, Turner & Hooch. GOBS of saliva suddenly manifest in my mouth. I don't like to run around other people because I know one of the shoestrings of spittle flapping from my mouth behind me will break off and slap some unsuspecting pedestrian in the face!
I got so worn out so quickly today that I had to stop and take a breather. This little old lady trailing a tank of oxygen behind her stopped and offered to hook me to her unit till I was able to carry on. I thanked her kindly, but insisted I could manage.
I was so upset with myslef I decided to stop and get a Cinnabon. Did I mention that I run in the mall? And that it's not really running, but more of a fast sashay? Thought I had menitoned that. Oh well!
As some of you may know, I have a ritual of grabbing myself a Cinnabon and an Orange Julius and then doing a crossword or the Jumble while checking out the action outside Claire's Accessories or Yankee Candle. I WAS into Omar Sharif's Bridge column - but we're currently fighting. I don't really want to talk about it.
After my gift from cinnamony heaven, I caught back up with the girls (I'm in a mall walking league) and cranked out another grueling quarter mile. I SWEAR I try for a half mile - but everytime I round that corner at Bath & Body Works and catch a whiff of the Sweet Pea hand lotion, I just melt!
Anyway, to sum up, it's a mere twenty days into the new year and I've had to change my resolution already. Thought you should know.
***
P.S. Okay, I REALLY do try to write serious life-detailing entries - but what can I say? I'm an unemployed, job-searching git. I start out sincere enough, I really AM running now, but my imagination takes over when I start writing. I mean really, who wants to read about the great resume tweaking I did today? Anyone?)
�
�