10:19 a.m. - 03.07.2003
I woke up this (late-late) morning and walked to the bathroom like a zombie scratching his butt.
In the bathroom I set about the arduous task of putting my face on. Whilst halfway through my floor routine there was a thunderous and urgent pounding at the front door, as if someone bloodied and mangled on the otherside needed me and/or my phone.
Without thinking I leapt to the door and threw it open to find a smiling mailman. The mail comes at a ridiculous hour here. He had a package (a book I ordered) that was too big for the box.
He handed me the package, but his smile soon faded. He just slowly backed away from me. I guess when he felt he was at a safe distance - he bolted for his truck with a whimper. I'd never seen a mailtruck "peel out" before - it was cool.
Wondering what all the hoopla was about, Mrs. Culpepper across the street and I stared down at my state of dress.
In my rush to answer the door for the intestine spilling individual on the otherside, I forgot I was still in the middle of putting my face on.
I looked down at myself to find I was still wearing a Biore strip across my nose, teeth whitening strips, and I had accepted the package with paraffin wax still cooling on my hands, a ratty old Delta Chi t-shirt on, and my Spongebob boxers - with Spongebob's tongue hanging out (even though the Spongebob boxers don't have a tounge. winkwink.)
Needless to say, I don't think the mailman will be making anymore door deliveries. I think future packages will be chucked from the cab of his truck as best he can while driving by at a good clip.
How embarrassing this all must have been...for dear Mrs. Culpepper. The poor old woman came out for the morning paper again forgetting what clothes are.
(Okay. I can't back this up - I don't use teeth whitening strips.)
How's this for media intelligence?
I wonder if I'm the number one Google search yet for Justine Bateman? I can't imagine there's too much activity in that subject. How does one check such things out, people are always talking about how they've been "googled"?
I tried my first taste of Hydroponic Lettuce yesterday. It tasted like I was eating velvet. The jury's still out...
...Speaking of jury's, I'm headed to Clemson today. My trial is on Thursday. But I'll keep you posted. Daily. As I'm an addict.
I'll leave you now with a jingle to crowd your mind for the rest of the day, so you can curse my name:
"I like to sing-a! About the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a! I like to Sing-a. About a sky so blue-a and a tea for two-a, Iiiii like to, Iiii like to siiiiing!"
- Owl Jolson (cartoon)