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10:19 a.m. - 03.07.2003
I like to sing-a!
Greetings online man-journal,

I woke up this (late-late) morning and walked to the bathroom like a zombie scratching his butt.

In the bathroom I set about the arduous task of putting my face on. Whilst halfway through my floor routine there was a thunderous and urgent pounding at the front door, as if someone bloodied and mangled on the otherside needed me and/or my phone.

Without thinking I leapt to the door and threw it open to find a smiling mailman. The mail comes at a ridiculous hour here. He had a package (a book I ordered) that was too big for the box.

He handed me the package, but his smile soon faded. He just slowly backed away from me. I guess when he felt he was at a safe distance - he bolted for his truck with a whimper. I'd never seen a mailtruck "peel out" before - it was cool.

Wondering what all the hoopla was about, Mrs. Culpepper across the street and I stared down at my state of dress.

In my rush to answer the door for the intestine spilling individual on the otherside, I forgot I was still in the middle of putting my face on.

I looked down at myself to find I was still wearing a Biore strip across my nose, teeth whitening strips, and I had accepted the package with paraffin wax still cooling on my hands, a ratty old Delta Chi t-shirt on, and my Spongebob boxers - with Spongebob's tongue hanging out (even though the Spongebob boxers don't have a tounge. winkwink.)

Needless to say, I don't think the mailman will be making anymore door deliveries. I think future packages will be chucked from the cab of his truck as best he can while driving by at a good clip.

How embarrassing this all must have been...for dear Mrs. Culpepper. The poor old woman came out for the morning paper again forgetting what clothes are.

(Okay. I can't back this up - I don't use teeth whitening strips.)

***

How's this for media intelligence?

click

***

I wonder if I'm the number one Google search yet for Justine Bateman? I can't imagine there's too much activity in that subject. How does one check such things out, people are always talking about how they've been "googled"?

***

I tried my first taste of Hydroponic Lettuce yesterday. It tasted like I was eating velvet. The jury's still out...

***

...Speaking of jury's, I'm headed to Clemson today. My trial is on Thursday. But I'll keep you posted. Daily. As I'm an addict.

***

I'll leave you now with a jingle to crowd your mind for the rest of the day, so you can curse my name:

"I like to sing-a! About the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a! I like to Sing-a. About a sky so blue-a and a tea for two-a, Iiiii like to, Iiii like to siiiiing!"

- Owl Jolson (cartoon)

 

 

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