10:55 a.m. - 04.11.2003
2 Legit. 2 Legit 2 Quit.
Today is pretty much a continuation of yesterday. I have the nasty habit of dwelling.
It happens to be that this whole Kevin Costner/Joaquin Phoenix/amishboy-thang is getting way outta control. Mad merchandising proposals are streaming across my desk, begging for my approval.
Do I really want to jump on board the whole revitalized-but-seriously-bastardized-80's-toys train? Because they want to do this whole "return of Holly Hobbie as amishgirl" thing as a possible movie tie-in campaign. It sickens me. And does the world really need a porcelian amishboy bobblehead by Precious Moments? I can MAYBE see the vinyl halloween smock with matching plastic mask - but that's stretching it.
Naturally the Underoos revival is a go. Who doesn't want their face on underwear?
***
I finally caved and went to check out the full lyrics for 'Physical'. Are you kidding me?! Read this:
I'm saying all the things that I know you'll like/
Making good conversation/
I gotta handle you just right/
you know what I mean.
I took you to an intimate restaurant/
Then to a suggestive movie/
There's nothing left to talk about less it's/ horizontally.
Let's get physical/
physical/
I wanna get physical/
let's get into physical/
Let me hear your body talk/
your body talk/
Let me hear your body talk/
I've been patient
I've been good/
Trying to keep my hands on the table/
It's getting hard this holding back/ you know what I mean/
I'm sure you'll understand my point of view/
We know each other mentally/
You've gotta know that you're bringing out/the animal in me.
CHORUSblahblahblahLet's get animal blahblahblahCHORUS.
Olivia! Ms. Olivia-Marie Newton-John, I'm surprised at you! Is this the same ONJ that played wholesome, sweet Sandy Dee?! "There's nothing left to talk about less it's horizontally"? X-rated. That's all I have to say. Thank-god I had no idea what 'horizontally' meant when I was 6. Or else I would be the father of a 21yr-old right now.
(I don't think Rizzo needed to worry about a baby from Kenick - that slutty Sandy is the one I'D keep an eye on...)
***
I think it would be kick-ass to name a girl Olivia now that I think about it. Maybe Kenicke for a boy? NAH!
Although lately I have been partial to names I see in the grocery store.
I like Dinty Moore for a girl. And Duncan Hines for a boy. "Duncan" just sounds like a thick, rich piece of chocolate cake doesn't it? When I hear Duncan Hines I just imagine someone trying to say the name with a mouth full of moist cakey goodness - which I imagine is very difficult. Some words you can say easily with a mouthful of cake - Duncan Hines is not one of them.
That reminds me of that old 'Got Milk?' commercial. They're in a hospital, and this dude has on a full body cast. His family comes in and starts eating cake and drinking milk. As they fill their glasses up with milk, it's overflowing everywhere and down their arms. And the milk is way too thick to be anything less than whole cream. But it looks so good you need a glass.
So, yeah. Duncan Hines would rule. Not too sure about Betty Crocker though. Or Little Debbie. But I WOULD name a boy Uncle Ben. It'd be cool to have to call a son Uncle Ben. Why Not!? It's better than Juan Valdez.
Maybe I should just stick to single-word comapny names, like Tyson or Stauffers. Maybe I'll have a sassy little latino child named Goya. Who knows.
(I do know that if I move to Charleston it would kick-ass to say that I shop at the Piggly Wiggly for once in my life.)
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