8:54 p.m. - 07.24.2003
When you're a Jet you're a Jet
My last entry was pretty veiled in terms of specific east/west differences. But I did have a number in mind when writing. But then fussbudget scribbled one in my guestbook and totally hit the nail on the head. Now that I know others sympathize/empathize (you tell me) I thought I'd rant a bit in my wonderfully east coast acerbic style.
People here are strange. There is zero jaywalking. Everyone walking down the street stops at Don't Walk signs. It could be 3 in the morning and not a car in sight for miles - but people here do not jaywalk when the glowing red hand says not to.
Now they got me doing the non-jaywalking thing outta fear. But then sometimes when I wait, others will go and they'll look at me like, "freak!".
Ordinarily it would take nothing short of a runaway Mack truck for me not to jaywalk - but these people have me questioning myself. Not cool. I thought I knew who I was as a jaywalker.
I'm also having a hard time getting used to sports out here. Obviously people here aren't going to cheer for east coast teams - but I had never given much thought to it.
On the east coast, no matter where you live from Maine to Florida, people have a range of teams they are passionate about but they almost always are limited to east coast teams. I'm used to people up and down I-95 arguing till they're red in the face about professional and college teams alike from Boston, New York, Philly, Pittsburgh, DC, Atlanta, Miami - you name it.
It's all I've known for 28 years. I've come to enjoy all the tiny little rivalries on the east coast, even between teams I don't regularly follow. I just appreciate the history involved. So naturally, when I moved out here, I'm in a bizzaro world.
People are arguing and talking trash just as vehemently here as my friends back home - but about UW, or Oregon, or UCLA, or the Lakers, Kings, Giants, or San Jose. And there's such a passion involved to teams barely even mentioned in my former life. When people out here get fired up and talk sports, I'm like a dog in the corner - cocking my head to understand the squeak of a rubber hotdog.
For all of my ed-u-ma-cation you'dn thunk I understood relativity and frame of references by now. D'oh!
I fear it may be too late in life for me to be westernized. The best I can do now is to simply find a small enclave of ex-pat east coasters who love the Washington Redskins and southern collegiate football, and carry on our lives the only way we know how, just on the left side of the country.
We'll be like American ex-pat hipsters in Paris in the early 20th Century. Natives will approach us at outside cafes and talk passionately and at great length about the San Diego Chargers or the Diamondbacks, wanting us to appreciate - but we will simply smile and nod our heads, feigning interest and even understanding.
Do yourself a favor. Turn your life upside down. Move as far as possible from what you've known. You'll hate yourself for it....in a very loving way.
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