Along Came Dolly

01.18.2004 - 10:49 p.m.

I got this email on friday at work and it made me laugh. I also think that understanding Dolly Parton's physical fame is an awareness post-mark for young boys.

-----Original Message-----

From: co-worker

Sent: Friday, January 16, 2004 12:13 PM

To: amishboy

Subject: FW: Hello Dolly

I think we had a Dolly boob discussion a while back. We were trying to figure

out when she had the surgery/if she had a surgery. its weird, Dolly will

forever be remembered in my mind as that lady with big boobs... although now i

think of her as a pioneering artist... let me explain. in grade school, i had

never noticed boobs before - or had thought much of them. I remember there

where tons of dolly parton jokes going around (There is one in particular that I

remember, but it is a physical joke - so I can't repeat it) ***note*** *amishboy says: I think he means the one where you use your knuckles to make it look like Dolly is standing behind a tree*... anyway the

punchline of all these jokes where always dolly's boobs. anyway, i was a young

boy with pure thoughts and knew nothing about dolly's boobs, even though i knew

who she was. I had to have my parents explain the jokes to me... they were all

like "its cuz she's got big boobs (although they used a much more G-rated term

--as if the word boobs couldn't get anymore G-rated)... who told you this

joke?!?! Its not very Christian like..."

Anyway once I learned this (and once I had actually seen Dolly on tv to verify),

it was as if I joined some sort of a secret society. Some secret Dolly society.

Suddenly, I started to notice boobs. I wasn't able to look at the world the

same anymore with my new found knowledge. My innocence was lost... and I have

Dolly to blame.

I was never attracted to Dolly as a kid... but know that I hear her early music

I now have a fascination with early 70's, pre-boob? Dolly.

- Co-worker

***

My weekend? Friday nite I went to what was billed as a "soul party". Just a house party at a friend's house, but my other friend and I assumed people would attempt to get a little soulful with the wardrobe. Me - lovely 70's leather. My friend - fake afro and soul patch, leather to boot. We had the soul.

The party? A bunch of punk rockers standing around spinning old vinyl and watching kung-fu blaxplotation DVDs. Needless to say, those punks can drink. I was up till 5am trying to raise the dead in joke séances. I only succeeded in raising a couple of PBR's.

The chick that co-hosted the party was named Science. Thought it was worth mentioning, as I've never met a Science. A highlight of the night was around 4am when I jokingly suggested dance-fighting, and Science then suggested to the DJ that she could outdance anything he spun. Accepting the challenge, it came down to Science vs "One Step Beyond" by Madness. After the dust settled, the results? Madness=1, Science=0.

***

Did some shopping at Amazon - thought I'd pass along my purchases as recomendations.

True, I haven't read them, but I checked 'em out at the bookstore and what I read was quite good. I just picked 'em up on Amazon because they're cheaper.

out to pasture - to the barn raising