Red Carpet Rash

01.26.2004 - 6:32 p.m.

I hunkered down and watched the Golden Globes last night. Brought to us by the good people of the Hollywood Foreign Press, which I think is secretly code for "England".

I just have to say, if they ever decide to make the movie, Clay Aiken is perfect for the lead in The Young Reba McEntire Story. A couple of spry little elves, those two.

Furthermore, someone at NBC most owe Donald Trump, BIG. They've replaced Scrubs with his trash permenantly, effectively ruining Thursday. Dare I even say - if we're lucky they'll bring back Coupling?

It seems that not only was there not a managment shake-up at NBC over the awfulness that was Coupling, but they gave that same individual the reins to drive once more and they chose The Apprentice.

Knowing what I know now, if we could just go back to the days of Coupling, I'll promise to keep my mouth shut and just watch along patiently, maybe even feigning a polite laugh occasionally.

Then there are these drug commercials. Is this effective advertising - making me guess what the devil they are for? They'll flash *longmedicaldrugname* and then random scenes not containing any cohesion or common denominator. Two people lying in adjacent bathtubs on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Then they ask me to ask my doctor if *longmedicaldrugname* is right for me. How can I ask if I have no earthly idea which of my ailments it's supposed to cure?

Should I saunter in and say, "Doc? Is *longmedicaldrugname* right for me? Cuz I just can't seem to lie in a bathtub on a cliff and overlook the ocean anymore with my loved one. Not since, er, you know, before."

What I do know is that all these *longmedicaldrugnames* are for horrible horrible, nay, unmentionable maladies. Think about it. Valtrex commercials? Hey no problem, they go out of their way to tell me it's for a raging case of herpes. So if advertising herpes drugs is a walk in the park - then *longmedicaldrugname* must be for the damn ebola virus or something if they can't say it.

Was I talking about the Golden Globes? Yeah, they were alright.

****

Let me preface this next bit by saying that I don't support Howard Dean. In fact, beyond being ABB (anybody but Bush) I'm clueless about the democratic candidates.

With that said, I can't believe the fuss they have been making for the last two weeks on Meet The Press about Dean's concession speech in Iowa. WTF. They keep debating how his rage finally kicked in, and he gave this angry speech where he was yelling and screaming. They keep saying how bad a reaction that was to his loss, and that a presidential hopeful needs to remain calm and emtionless. This drives me nuts.

First off, there wasn't an once of anger in the guys words. It was passion. Maybe the media doesn't recognize it anymore. Do I need to call Tommy Brokaw and say, dood, it was a rally. You know, for rallying the troops. Like a pep rally. I don't know how you do that, but me - I throw a little passion into the speech.

He was a guy addressing a room full of people that had just combed one end of Iowa to the other, only to see their man loose big. These people worked their ass off for free, and were probably feeling a little more than down. So you don't stand up in front of them all calm and reserved and say c'est la vie, maybe in NH. No! You get fired up! You rally the g-damn troops!

How can they honestly fault the guy. And they've been doing it for two weeks. BTW, these are the same people that knocked on Gore four years ago for being - you guessed it, passionless and without emotion, like a zombie in his speeches. You just can't win. So, just what is a happy medium then between the two, hmmm? A lying coke-head from Texas maybe?

out to pasture - to the barn raising