10:59 a.m. - 09.07.2004
Down on Fascination Street
This upcoming election will fascinate me to no end.
Cuz when you boil it down it'll just be a giant national poll - a poll to show nothing more than the percentage of Stupid people vs Smart people in the country. Plain and simple. And standing in line or watching others maneuver through traffic I've always wondered about the outcome of such a poll...I don't think many realize such a poll has finally arrived!
I mean sure, there are broader ramifications, like confirming long standing rivalries of "Smart" states vs "Stupid" states, but those are just statistical perks.
Wanna know the best part about all this - my statements here are in no way politically biased. It's relatively impossible for them to be so. I've examined the facts from all possible angles, and according to my findings, all voting Americans on Nov. 2 will definitively know once and for all if they are Smart or Stupid.
All non-voters are automatically exempt from a run at Smart status. The best they can hope for is "mildly literate".
p.s. the sad part is, Stupid-status winners won't even know better. Hence the status. And when you try to enlighten them as to their winning title, they'll have no idea what you're talking about, and just cock their heads and stare at you like cute puppy dogs.
p.p.s. remember, these words have been edited of political bias.
p.p.p.s. Bumbershoot sucks.
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