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9:42 a.m. - 04.30.2003
The Eyes Have It / What It Feels Like For A Boy
Still in a picture posting mood.

It's amazing how the eyes are the only organs practically fully grown at birth. Sure, maybe our hair will turn from a stringy sandy-blond into a course dark brown, but the eyes always stay the same.

I see little difference between amisheyes circa 1978-80, and then last night.

***

The ice cream truck zips down my street everyday now that it's 80 degrees out. I mention it because I just saw him drive by. ...but it's like 10am! What's he thinking?! School's still in, and even if it weren't - it's 10am! And although I know he mostly drives by to sell to the mexican construction workers down the street - do they even want ice cream at 10am?

(Damn, I wish I'd bought a nutty-butty now.)

***

We all know that women are from venus and men are from mars. It's our curse to forever roll our eyes in frustration at the opposite sex thinking, "I'll NEVER understand them."

And since we're all cool with un-p.c., self-effacing gender humor, I'm going to take a queue from Madonna's "What It Feels Like For A Girl" and tell y'all: What It Feels Like For A Boy. Because when it comes down to it - girls are hard to figure sometimes, am I right or am I right fellas of d-land!?

*crickets chirping. loudly.*

Great. Anyways, I was spending some drunken QT with coldradio last weekend and we had an epiphany. He was telling me how to win the inevitable "toilet seat up/down" war with my future Mrs. when it dawned on me - what if I was able to describe perfectly for a woman what it feels like for a guy. That frustrated feeling when, in the middle of a conversation, all logic and reason are thrown out the window.

The answer came to me in the form of Murphy's Law. We all know it - it's that unwritten law that traditionally states "whatever can go wrong, will" but has grown to encompass all of lifes frustrating foibles. It's now used to describe a recognition of impending feutility. You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. I think somewhere along the line Murphy's Law ran off and married Ms. Catch-22.

But my point is - even women are susceptible to that annoying feeling of Murphy's Law. And when they do feel that pang of frustration - for that brief second - they know what it's like for a man. We are ALL inherently male when it comes to dealing with Murphy's Law, which is inherently female. Right? So that's what it feels like! Just more of a prolonged sensation.

(It seemed a lot funnier after six pints. Hate mail is welcome at coldradio.diaryland.com, or simply by using the "contact me" button conveniently located on the site navigation.)

***

Oh Yeah! I almost forgot...yesterday I went to the vet to pick up Annie the dog, and the vet's waiting room was plastered with pictures of amishchildren and pacificnorthwest scenes! Talk about signs!

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