12:14 p.m. - 2002-12-06
your humble narrator
Welcome to my first entry from home. That's just because this is the first day off I've had since starting my diary (has it been four days already?)
***
I suppose I should tell you all more about me. Afterall, that's why I'M even here. To find out more about ME. Well, I should start with the most important.....my love.
I LOVE Kraft Macaroni and Cheese more than anything. I used to be a facist and only love the Spirals, but I've since branched out. I now like
-Spirals
-Original
-Thick n Creamy
-Deluxe (1/3 less fat)
(mmmmmm. meee likesy!)
I don't know what it is, but my love affair has never waned for a sec. If I were on death row (can you get the death penalty for Public Disorderly? ....in SC, just MAY-be....)my final meal would be Kraft Mac n Cheese, prepared by my own loving hand. It HAS to be by my own hand. What can I say, I have "that touch". What the french call, Je ne sais quoi. I'm so good, the instructions for preparation don't even apply to me anymore - Kraft has given me full artistic liberty. Sometimes I like to make it without milk or butter. Actually, I never use butter anymore. And milk only sparingly. I even buy an extra box, so that I can have an extra cheese pouch to work with.
Did I mention it has to be Kraft? My grandmother in Charleston has been proud of her home-made Mac n Cheese since she was born. I hear she even made her first batch in the womb. Well....I've never even tried it. And don't plan to.
My first child will be named Kraft. Okay, maybe a middle name. As a kid, I helped found the movement to change the name to Kraft CHEESE and Macaroni. We were plagued by in-fighting and organizational disputes from the get go however.
So, my biggest problem? It's really a love-hate relationship. Kraft, the single greatest greedy-corporate identity in the world, is owned by a cigerete company. It's either R J Reynolds, or Philips, I don't know which, but I loathe and hate everything about them. But what's a boy to do? Of course, I make it worse by ignoring it - hoping it will all go away. Which it won't. ...... Oh, Idon'tcare! Smokers do so of their own free will. Viva la Mac and Cheese! Kraft that is ;)
***
I'm stuck at home. You see, I ride my bike to campus. I love it, and only wish it weren't winter so I could ride for leisure. Anyway, I rode into school the other day, but then this whole winter-strom thingy hit. Not that Clemson got anything mind you (school was STILL canceled, strictly out of fear). Anyway, we did get a lot of rain, so I caught a ride home the other day, ditching my bike.
Then yesterday I drove to work, cause my bike is still on campus.
So now, I'm at home, need to go to campus, but my bike is on campus. And I can't drive, cause there is no place to park on campus and I don't need a ticket. Can I get a ride to campus? I have this final to turn in.
(I'd ask my roomate, but it's alomst 1PM and he's still in bed. Why? Cause he's a good for nothing pot-head! Arrrgghh)
***
I'm thinking of becoming more like my namesake. Amishboy. Not the whole, electricity be damned thing, but the whole "less-is-more" material thing. I'm thinking a happy medium. You know those corporate retreat thingies? Where Old, fat balding exec types retreat to the woods to find their better-to-conquer-the-world-with selves? Well, I'm going to start one in the fashion of a working Amish farm.
If you've ever field-tripped or vacationed to Amish country, you know that that's a big to-do. "A REAL live WORKING amish farm! Here!". Big business for the Amish (who are already stinking rich - but more on that later).
So, spoiled and decadent exec types will jet into my Amish farm, where they will toil away for two weeks of 19th century fun and frolic. I'll strip them of everything they know, and re-introduce them as boardroom killers, in an earthy salt-of-the-earth kinda way.
They'll get up at 3 and work as hard and as fast as they can all day, before we lose precious sunlight. (That's tip off #1 that this is a good idea - who views the sunlight as "precious" anymore?)and then at nite they'll do requisite paperwork by candlelight. This will instill a life-long hatred of paperwork, reforming the way we do business eniterly.
Then, at the end of the two weeks, they will leave. Humble. Mature. Appreciative.
That, or I may start a Temp service here in the Bible Belt. "Moses' Staffing - for all your Christian staffing needs. We part the Red Sea of Human Resources."
�
�