10:52 a.m. - 01.26.2003
It's elementary, my dear Morgan.
I've returned from another of my fun-filled weekend getaways. I did Raleigh and Chapel Hill. I had never done Chapel Hill before and it was surprisingly cool. For a southern college town, it sure had a northern feel to it. Very Georgetown (DC). I took in various bar scenes, met some nice Italian girls that were visiting, and then hoofed it home for....
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The Super Bowl is today. Ordinarily I could care less, but of all things, my mother is having a Super Bowl party. The catch is that I have to stay in my room on the bed and keep an eye on all of the coats.
She's making me wear this crushed red-velvet waistcoat with matching pill-box hat. And when people drop off/pick-up their coats I have to address them as "m'lady" or "m'lord".
At half time, I get a break - but only because she's making me walk around to offer everyone a hot towelette. Actually, I can hear her calling me as I type this. (Hold on a sec...)
(5 minutes later) Okay, maybe you can help me with this one...do you think it's better to get 5 buckets of Original Recipe and 5 Extra-Crispy? Or just 3 buckets of each, and then a boat load of fixins'?
I suggested some Shrimp Poppers or Extreme-Fajitas with Ranch or Honey Mustard dipping sauces, but she poo-pooed that idea. We may compromise and do a bucket of the Colonel's Original, a bucket of Extra-Crispy, and then an array of Hot Pockets and Bagel Bites.
And would you offer Miller High Life because it's the Champagne of Beers, or Budweiser because it's the King of Beers? My mom's in a tizzy over this one. I think it's her first Super Bowl party.
I may be better off just burrowing into the coat pile on my bed and hiding this one out. It would be like when I was a kid again...trying to sleep through the muffled sounds of adult conversation and merry-making coming from the other room. Speaking of kids...
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When you were in elementary school, you know how many textbooks also came with workbooks? Were any of your workbooks ever called "construction books"? I have a vague memory of something called a construction book but from where I do not know....
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I do remember though that when I was in elementary school in Colorado, there was a kid in my class named Morgan. The thing about Morgan was that he couldn't run - he could only gallop like a horse. This was funny whenever we would play Red Rover. They would call Red Rover, Red Rover send Morgan right over - and he would go galloping across the playground.
Morgan was a popular boy though, so the class banded together and really tried to teach Morgan to run proper during recess. We would find a secluded corner of playground and teach him to run placing one foot in front of the other.
I remember he would start out well enough, but then his feet would lose sync, he would start to stumble a bit, so to steady himself he would break out into a gallop.
Not to be mean and single Morgan out, I'll be fair and dish a little about myself. Growing up I had a speech impediment. I couldn't say my R's. I would say Guwl or Wooster instead of Girl and Rooster. I was placed in remedial classes and had to go to speech therapy. But in the end I became a kick-ass English major (just not in spelling and grammer, as I'm sure you have noted).....
....and Morgan is the current U.S. Cross-Country champ! (okay, I can't back that up. I don't know what happend to the kid after 1984.)
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This just in: Seems my mom is going to do wine and Shrimp Creole now for the party....how pass�. (I TOLD her everyone's mad for Pizza Hut's Chicago Deep Dish and Mike's Hard Lemonade)
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