11:32 a.m. - 02.23.2003
All MJ - all the time. MJTV.
(This was proposed in my Sunday paper - so I ran with it.)
Apparently, with the network blitz of specials, people just can't get enough of Michael Jackson!
It's like 1984 all over again. Except now we're not glued to the TV to catch a glimpse of that mind-boggling move, "the moonwalk", or that hypnotizing and sparkling glove.
Now we're glued to that mind-blogging move his face has been slowly making. As for the glove - well, I'm still hypnotized there.
But the wonderful marketing machine that is America knows what the people want - and that's more MJ. So they're starting a cable channel dedicted to just one thing....all MJ - all the time. Period. MJTV.
For an extra $6.66 a month, here's what you get on MJTV:
"The Soprano" - MJ stars as a mob hit-man who threatnes to exact revenge on his enemies by dangling their children from hotel balconies.
"Michael in the Middle" - A documentary about Michael's sleeping arrangements for the week.
"Who Wants to Sleep with a Multi-Millionaire?" - A spin-off/crossover title. Kids compete in this reality show to see who stars in the MJTV hit "Michael in the Middle".
"Kids Wear the Darndest Things" - A show about the weird love of scarves and masks the Jackson children make their daddy dress them in. Watch each week as Michael trys harder and harder to help the kids "just fit in with the others".
"PR" - Tales from Jackson's Public Relations emergency room, as they are forced to perform reconstructive surgery on his image almost daily.
"Survivor: Neverland" - Boys and Girls compete in this reality show. Winners are forced to attend the host's slumber parties. Who'll be voted off the bed this week?
"Whose Nose is it Anyway?" - Watch as Michael does impromptu things to his nose.
"Everybody Loves Bubbles" - More hijinks of America's favorite chimp.
"The Bachelor" - Jackson picks from among 25 women to see which lucky lady will bear his next child.
"This Old Face" - An expert look into the craft and workmanship that went into the renovation and the ongoing restoration of America's favorite facade. Also, tips on renovationg your old and boring looks into something new and different.
Supposedly in development are the shows "Fire Factor" where Michael has to endure various tasks with a flaming head. And "Unsolved Mysteries" is a look into his marriage with Lisa Marie Presley, and his ability to seemingly walk on air with the as yet unexplained "moonwalk".
Stay Tuned!
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