6:28 p.m. - 12.10.2003
English Major Holidays
Last night I watched the classic Rudolph special on CBS.
Growing up, and still today, it bugs me that they made Mrs. Claus a raging Italian. She's supposed to be his female doppelganger but instead she has this tight, jet black hair bun and all she does is say in her immigrant accent, "eeet Sanda, eeet. The kids no lika skinny Sanda. eeet." I dunno, maybe she's supposed to be Russian.
More importantly, let's talk about Herbie the Dentist. Let's do the math:
A full on lisp as he croons "why am I such a misfit", a wicked Duran Duran coif, and his strong, unexplainable feeling that there is something inherently different from the others about him. And lastly - it's that he wants to be a dentist (with a raging lisp for each utterance of dentist). A profession that revolves around meticulous hygiene.
Has everyone done the math in their heads about Herbie now? Hmmmm...by 1960's standards, just what is a "misfit" anyhow...
Great - moving on. We'll skip over Comet's stern determination to make "real bucks" outta the boys, and glaze over the fact that I'm 20-something and still don't know what Yukon Cornelius means by calling himself a Bumble, or his insistence then that Bumbles bounce, and move straight to the fact that Santa is an ugly, prejudiced, discriminatory old white man.
When Rudolph's parents try to reassure Santa that their son's red nose will go away, Santa gives them a snotty, "I hope so. If he wants to pull my sleigh." Apparently, Santa only wants the arduous, behind-the-whip task of pulling his sleigh going to black ones. Noses that is.
But I suppose in the end that's the point. Everyone sees the error of their poor judgements, misfits become loved, and abominable beasts are emasculated by bouncing bumbles. *sniff* you did it again CBS. Happy Holidays everyone!
(PS - Misfit toy? I don't know what they're talking about. Personally, I would love a squirt gun that shoots jelly.)
�
�