12:01 p.m. - 11.22.2004
\"It's called gratitude - and that's right!\" - Beastie Boys
I was dinning out friday night, and then it came time to reconcile the bill and leave a tip on the ol magic plastic card - when suddenly, half way through my math, somewhere between carrying the one and moving the decimal point two places - I realized:
When did 20% become the new 15?
It just sorta crept up on us - unannounced, like highway robbery. It's like we only revert to the timeworn 15% now out of spite - as if a signal to the waiter of crappy service.
I don't like it one bit.
***
And when did Thanksgiving die? We've all been talking about it - but I'm seriously PO'ed. Thanksgiving is one of our few non-religious based holidays. The Pilgrims may have been dripping with religion, but the idea of observing thanks is non-denominational. But a fat, Atkins-hating Saint popping down our chimneys for a little breaking and entering - that's the one we want. F-thanksgiving, right?
*tsk* It's a shame really. Heck, Valentine's is marketed harder than Thanksgiving now. But hey - that's another Saint-themed one.
Well anyway *raises a goblet with a generous portion of giblet gravy* here's to the death of Thanksgiving - she will be missed!
***
And another obvious one: Um, hello? VH1? Totally the new MTV, for the MTV watchers of the '90s.
MTV is beyond us now - so enter VH1. Basically just MTV circa 1994-1999, with some current events shows and a giant scoop of nostalgia.
Plop down, watch the Retrosexual special, maybe some Best Week Ever, and then one of the I Love The... and call it a day.
When oh when did MTV lose its relevance to me? Take for instance Pimp My Ride. I like to see what they can do - but would have no desire whatsoever, in a million trillion years, to actually have my ride pimped. That's the fundamental gap between me and the current MTV generation, which I was a card-carrying member of just a few short years ago!
They would actual freak (and often do) to have their ride pimped - beyond just a mildly interesting make-over show. These kids WANT an xbox in their trunk. Tv screens on every nook and cranny. Fantastic day-glo paint jobs.
And me - I'm just the old guy that likes to point and laugh at the crazy kids that I "don't get". So I climb back over to VH1 for my fourth helping of Retrosexual - and my god do I want to get with Tiffany and Debbie Gibson now. At the same time. What?
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